April 21 2020
The word “understand” in the dictionary means to perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or a speaker).
Understanding means the ability to understand something.
So talking about an understanding relationship is an easy task but quite difficult at the same time.
Many relationships have broken up and many marriages have been torn apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they don’t understand each other.
Understanding means being more aware, sensitive and intuitive with the people we love. But understanding isn’t knowledge alone. Knowledge doesn’t always lead to understanding and without understanding, you won’t be able to love someone indefinitely.
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The reason partners complain to each other is because they are not getting their needs met. What are these needs? They vary with each person. One partner may feel disconnected from her mate and may want to feel like she matters to him. If her partner knew this he would probably be willing to say something to help her feel better.
It might sound something like, “Honey I am happy to be with you.” It doesn’t take much to fill what’s needed as long as you know what’s needed. That is understanding. Unfortunately, when people are unhappy it usually comes out sounding like, “Hey, you didn’t pick up the dinner plates. Why don’t you ever take out the trash?” These criticisms may give us a clue about the feelings underneath. She may feel ignored and become sad and then angry, and all those feelings come out in complaints about the dinner plates or the garbage.
Most of us aren’t taught to examine the feelings inside us–the ones that make us get cross with our mates. Instead we just take the sadness and the disappointment and turn it into a criticism hoping that at least we can get something in return. But the return action is often worse. No one likes to be criticized, and no one responds well to judgment. It hurts. What we get in many relationships is hurt feelings on top of hurt feelings. One person says something cross, the other replies and takes it up a notch. Both people feel cheated and misunderstood. This could even become a pattern that couples end up living with. “It’s not that bad” they might rationalize, but it isn’t that good either.
In any relationship, there must be an element of communication which enhances the sharing of feelings, hopes, aspirations and other things between two or more people.
There are many factors which form an understanding and a powerful relationship:
These things are very little if we ask it from our partner but the relationship surely works with mutual efforts and then deserves to be called as an understanding relationship.